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Writer's pictureNicki Carnley

Why I'll Never Force My Kids to Eat


As parents,we do everything we can to ensure our children are loved and cared for the best ways we know how. There are so many different parenting styles, but the underlying thing we all have in common is we love our kids. I've observed many different ways to raise a child and through that, I've learned what kind of parent I want to be along with things I know I'll never do to my kids. One of those things I will never do to my daughter, and any of my future kids, is force them to eat. The idea of making a kid eat something they don't like or finish their entire meal might come from good intentions, say to make sure the child is getting proper nutrition or as a way of making sure they are obeying. But when it comes to food, a less forceful method should be applied. Here are 5 main reasons I'll never force my kids to eat.


1. They Inherently Know their Bodies


Children can tell you when they are hungry or full. My daughter, who is 21 months old, signs "eat" when she's hungry and "all done" when she's full. Even young children can listen to their bodies' hunger and satiated signals, possibly even better than adults because they haven't been programmed by culture yet on how much they should or shouldn't eat. Instead of assuming they are not eating to be difficult, it's best to consider there is always a good reason they're not eating.

2. They Could be Sick or have to Poop


There have been many times in the past when I wonder why my daughter isn't eating, only to discover she has a full diaper. Who wants to eat when they have to poop? Similarly, they could be feeling nauseous or sick, and not know how to tell you. My worst nightmare would be my daughter throwing up after I forced her to eat. Nobody wants that outcome!


3. Forcing them to Finish Meals Creates an Unhealthy Relationship with Food


Telling kids they have to finish their plates, even when they are full, is setting them up to be an over eater as an adult. Overeating may lead to obesity and other health problems. We must teach our children to listen to their body when it tells them they're full.


4. They Need to Develop Their Taste Buds


Of course I'm not advocating for letting kids be super picky, causing you to have to make multiple different dishes until they get what they want. I always offer the food I have to my daughter and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't eat it. The next time I have that particular food, I'll offer it to her again, and sometimes she realizes she likes it, while other times she still refuses it. If I'm trying a new recipe, I always have a go to healthy option available I know she loves, like black beans. If she refuses to eat those, I know she's just not hungry because they're her favorite!

5. Appetites Fluctuate


We all have days and stages of our lives when we are ravenous or just not that hungry. Children are the same way. One day they will devour anything you put in front of them and the next day they pick at everything, and that's okay.

As long as you know your kids are getting adequate nutrition, it's best to let them lead. For all of these reasons, my daughter will grow up knowing she is in charge of what and how much food goes into her precious body.

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